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irritatedHello!
Here is more boredom for you. Somehow writing a dissertation is quite inspiring in a depressing sort of way. I have a small amount of time to bugger about with Reason in between writing Chapters for it, none of which make any sense. ;)>
Lt Meat
Hello Team!
More boredom, I think there is some frustration in this music as well. I have too much too do, but too many distractions..............and not enough money.
Enjoy
Lt Meat
hungryThis one is not technically a new piece of music but a kind of remix/attempt to finish a really old song. Hopefully it will kill 6 minutes of your tired little lives. It did over three years of mine.
Enjoy!
Lt Meat
spaceyDear viewers,
I think, as I'm supposed to be writing my masters degree dissertation as I write this, that I'm going to be adding quite a few blog entries over the next few weeks as minor distractions to my more pressing work at hand. I'm not helped by my oh so considerate neighbours, who are listening to my favourite Ministry of Sound compilation album really loudly which does help me when reading and considering academic city theories, it really does, it isn't distracting to the point of frustrated explosively rage-fueled, rolling pin equipped murderous revenge. It's fine, I wouldn't do that anyway, I'm a nice guy...................and they're bigger than me.
So, to get some form of respite and before I go completely nuts I thought I'd give it a break for now and tell you all, whoever you may be, about two films YES TWO!!!! that I sat and watched last night whilst drinking a nice 2004 Rioja.
Firstly................
That's right, the first film I watched last night was of course Star Trek. Not one of the ones with baldy Jean Luc Picard in, but the new one (Amazon have it listed as Star Trek XI but I thought it was the first of a new bunch just called Star Trek, but there you go). An enjoyable film, I won't spoil the plot here (yes I will just later on), but suffice to say they've (not really) sucessfully managed, through the plot of this film, to set up a new bunch of character 'versions' of our old Trekkie favourites each with subtle differences from their predecessors, that can no doubt be further explored in many more new Star Trek movies to come.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing, American TV and now Hollywood is hopefully, finally, giving up on 'remaking' old shit but instead has got into 'reimagining' old shit TV shows and films instead. I've recently watched the 'reimagined' Battlestar Galactica series, from start to finish. It's not bad, it certainly killed a few months of my life and went a little way to filling the TV void left by the end of The Wire. However, the 'reimagined' Knightrider is utter BALLS. PLEASE DON'T TOUCH THE A-TEAM unless I come up with the concept and it includes me as Murdoc and Matthew Stemp as Face.
So how does it work? Well you don't just remake the same old crap with new people. You have to use the original as a template and think up a way to include it in your new 'reimagined' version to make it uber legit. Battlestar Galactica set itself in the future 40 years after the original series, in the pilot you get to see the old Cylons and the old Viper Star Fighters and through a plot-twist of fate only the old Vipers are left for the new characters to use in a new war against new 'reimagined' Cylons, are you starting to get it? Next, you get a bunch of relatively unknown actors and actresses, make one of them play a 'reimagined' version of an old character, as in the case of one Kara Thrace aka Starbuck. She isn't Face from the A-Team anymore she's a binge-drinking, tom-dude of a sexually frustrated Viper pilot who plays by her own rules and doesn't respect her superiors, but is deeply religious for some unknown reason. Once you've assembled your acting team you make them act! Not bad acting like in a remake but good acting, hard acting, method acting. With stories about unrequited love, drug abuse, social breakdown and general bleak views allegorically linked to today's most hotly discussed social topics such as, errr the fuel crisis and errrr wars your acting team will be pulling in the punters in no time. Much better than a shit remake of something we've already seen.
Face from the A-Team, not Matthew Stemp from London.
Still with me? What? No? Well lets now look at Star trek. In the very beginning of the film we see the grizzly old chops of a certain Mr Lenard Nimoy! shown as a rotating computerised head (I bet Shatner's turning in his grave over Nimoy getting a part). What's this? the audience asks perplexed. Is Nimoy playing an old Vulcan in another role? NO........? No he is Spock! we're told this by Eric Bana who himself plays a 'reimagined' pissed off Romulan, covered in tattoos and looking like he needs a heavy dose of Lynx Africa* before he goes out on the pull down old Romulus high Street (*other Lynx flavours are available). So, an old Spock is in this one? then who is Sylar from Heroes? He's Spock as well.......what the?.................I see, back in time.........then there's two of them..........from an alternative future............aaaaaaah I see.
Using time travel as a crappy plot vehicle this film is not a prequel, not a remake but a 'reimagined' Star Trek in a 'reimagined' new universe with slightly different stuff and slightly different characters. Young Spock is emotional and sexy, no doubt we'll see more of this emotional outrage in later movies, young Kirk is angry at the death of his father and sexy, Uhura is errrr sexy, the japanese guy is sexy and has a foldable samurai sword and Chekov has bizarrely curly ginger hair and is sexy? Well no he isn't really. All the other characters are there too, Scotty, Bones, Jean Luc Picard, Captain Janeway, Commander Sisco, Quark, Ben Kenobi, Luke Skywalker, Buzz Lightyear and of course the sexually frustrated, paranoid and bi-polar blue-gas being Craig Sheckelford. I shouldn't whine too much as I enjoyed the film, there's some nice in jokes too where the guy in the red suit, who no one likes, dies straight away and Kirk puts his cock in a woman with green skin, which is nice. In the case of both Battlestar Galactica and Star Trek 'reimagining' works.
So what's my point? I don't know. I've spent years 'reimagining' stuff myself. Me and Dave Beer wrote Ghostbusters III (subtitled Paranormal Police) ages ago, in our minds, and it was essentially a cool 'reimagined' version of the first film with all of the original cast plus the cast of American Pie thrown in to boot! I conclude by stating that 'reimagining' old shit is good and is hopefully the way forward for more cool TV shows and movies. Providing the rules for 'reimagining' are clearly laid out, and adhered to, TV and film companies will have years worth of stuff for us to point our intrigued glassy eyes at. As long as 'they' leave the A-Team alone. I think Quantum Leap could be a good one for the 'reimagining' treatment. In fact that's my idea so fuck off!
**I am worried though, Knightrider steams a bright shade of brown on Channel 5's shitty US sub-channel FIVER. With Val Kilmer as the voice of Kit sounding strangely less human than Val Kilmer himself, who is actually a piece of cardboard covered in dog's piss. On reflection though Knightrider is a remake and not a 'reimagining' so my statement currently stands and it can remain a pile of crap.**
Oh yeah, I did say I watched two films but I'm bored now so film two will have to wait. Now fuck off my roast dinner is cooked!
Over and out.
Lt Meat
Lets 'reimagine' Shatner! Fuck yeah!
crushed outI really need to stop doing this, but it's nice to have a distraction from what I'm supposed to be doing. This piece is rather heavy compared to Musical Interlude 01. It's called You Can't Return Your Hepatitis (But You Can Try).
Enjoy!!!
Lt Meat
YouCantReturnYourHepatitis.mp3
irritatedHello music fan!
I'm supposed to be doing uni work today. I've had a tune stuck in my head on repeat for hours now so I've finally given in and recorded it to try and get it out of my mind. Here you go...
I hope it gets stuck in your head too.
Over and out.
Lt Meat.
flirtynihilism |ˈnʌɪ(h)ɪlɪz(ə)m|nounthe rejection of all religious and moral principles, often in the belief that life is meaningless.• Philosophy extreme skepticism maintaining that nothing in the worldhas a real existence.• historical the doctrine of an extreme Russian revolutionary party c.1900, which found nothing to approve of in the established social order
Mince beef salad.
Ok this is recession cookery lesson 01 so pay attention if we're going to make it back into boom town.
Step 01. Get some mince beef. Try not to pay for it, barter with a butcher if you have to. Offer him (or her) sexual services in exchange for loads of mince beef. (don't get too much as you don't have a freezer, it's a recession, remember?).
Step 02. Once you have some mince beef you need some salad. Mixed salad is good but hard to steal from Tescos (other large supermarkets are available). A technique I've used recently is to make friends with the owner of a salad patch (an area of pavement or other such flat or sloped ground where salad can be found naturally growing), kill the owner by any means necessary and steal the salad growing in the patch. If you're lucky there may be some dog poop on the salad (which can be 'reimagined' into a beautiful sauce), if not don't worry dogs are stupid, if not ferocious, but polite, time travellers.
Step 03. "The R Kelly Stage" Once you have both the mince beef and the salad (if your attempts to gain salad failed don't worry just imagine you have some and carry on with the recipe, you're a fucking loser). Now, here's the hard part. Add both the mince beef and the salad to a suitable bowl (or if you don't have a bowl use a medium sized hole, possibly in a pavement or road carriageway so others can witness your mistake). Mix the ingredients until you feel hungry (remember you can't cook the mince as you don't have an oven it's a recession, remember? silly).
Step 04. Once hungry enough (you'll know when, why? because you just will.......silly sausage) eat the mince and head to your nearest A & E for advice on digesting your poisoned concoction. If you're lucky they'll keep you in over night for observations and feed you a baked potaTOE, or of you're really lucky the nurse will tug you off and fall in love with you, which wont cure your hunger but will make future trips to the A & E very ackward, VERY.
Well I hope you enjoyed your mince beef salad as much as I did counting my extensive gold harvest!!!!!
CIAO for now
Lt. Meat
irritatedActually I'm listening to Fugazi - The Argument, what an album!!!! I hope they reform. If they don't what an album it was they finished on, mindblowingly different but awesome!!!
This is an old track, it's not yet finished but have a listen.
chatty
I hate young people. I think that means I'm old now.
Last Sunday I went skateboarding, hungover I might add, but still with the intention of doing gnarly stunts and not breaking any bones. I didn't break any bones, I didn't even skate.
Me, Grim and Dainton (who are like, really old now) drove up to Swansea, picking up young Kill City easyroider Jess from Bridgend's premier retail village MacArthur Glen. I like MacArthur Glen, but for no particular reason I've never bought anything there or been there much but it's nice, it feels like the future of shopping. I like Jess too, he's quiet, I've heard he wants to be a model. He told me on the other hand that he's considering entering into care work as a side to being a sponsored skateboarder. I doubt many sponsored Americans have to even consider wiping another dudes ass for any extra income, I've seen Epicly Latered, I've seen how they live. On route we watched the Nike skate video on an I Phone (the I Phone in it's self makes me feel older and slightly redundant, it does too much I don't understand what it is, it's not a phone, it's an I Phone).
We got to Black Pill miniramp for a pre-gnarloid warm up sesh. The sky was grey, the hot, moist air ominous it wasn't supposed to rain today, Derek hadn't said so. As soon as I put my stupid foot on the ramp it began to rain, not hard but enough, so I didn't risk it. Even though, as everyone knows, rain really improves the grip of metal ramps exponentially to the point that no one can even fall off or "slam". Jess had a good little roll with some local guys before we all gave up. A young girl who was sat on the ramp asked me if I surfed, I said I used to, which isn't technically a lie it's an untrue fact I wanted her to think I was cool, I'm not and she'd blatantly mistaken me for someone else probably Ricky Long Cock which happens a lot in Swansea.
As the rain wasn't heavy we considered our options. Jess suggested a spot with big sets of steps.....and to my applaud small sets of steps. We arranged to meet Ricky Long Cock at the spot (for those of you who've not made acquaintance with Ricky you should know he's like Successful Local Business Man Darran Ward, only thin, attractive and really good at skateboarding and being cool). I was told on route that this skateboarding day was being carried out to obtain "footage" with which Lee Dainton would craft the most professional british skateboarding video of all time, even more professional than Playing Fields (featuring Mark Channer). Skateboarding has undergone a most definite change, I think it's getting more americanized or something but it's got less fun all of a sudden. Maybe that's just me, maybe I'm too old now.
Anyway we got to the secret spot and Jess started hurling himself down a set of stairs I would always have considered too big to even look at. Just after this set of stairs is another smaller set I would have considered looking at, but not today. Jess battered himself, Dainton filmed it, me and Grim watched in awe. I snuck off at this point to ollie a four set around the corner FIRST GO!!!! That's too unimpressive to mention really but I was stoked, really stoked. My back hurt though and my poor, poor knees. I can't imagine what would happen to me if I tried the big set, not the massive set, just the big set. Jess nailed some hammers down the stairs, Ricky turned up. We left to roam elsewhere.
Jess was chuffed with his tricks, Grim was chuffed with Jess' tricks, Dainton was chuffed with his "footage" of Jess' tricks, I was chuffed I made it back over the fence in one piece and chuffed with Jess' tricks. He fucking nailed himself over and over again, strangely though he seemed fine and up for more skating. We headed into Swansea city centre. It was still almost raining so we rocked up to Tescos undercover section where a couple of locals had a grind block set up. Now, it's moments like these more than others where age really becomes apparent, at least where skateboarding's concerned. Us (the old guys, if you don't include Jess) threw down our boards and rolled over to the younger guys, they stopped skating briefly to check us over, (YES! that really is Dainton off "Dirty Sanchez" come to Swansea to skate with us, YES! that really is Ricky Long Cock proud owner of the Exist Skate Store he might be considering us for the shop team, I've seen that other guy before I think he owns a skateshop in Newport, I don't know who that other loser is, maybe he's good, maybe he knows all the tricks....no he can't do an ollie on the flat what a dick). At least I assume that's what they thought, it looked like they were thinking that.
One "backwardsfliptoforwards" later we were back in the car. Ricky had one of his famous spots to show us. Apparently Ricky knows everything to skate in Swansea but it's all way too gnarly for anyone other than him to do any tricks on. The spot in question was at a newly built area by the mariner, this spot is not a secret, it's anybodys it really is. It is a 5ft high marble ledge with a 3ft gap to single chrome rail on a diagonal angle to the block with a 20 storey luxury apartment block at the end of it. It was fun to look at. Back towards the car was a steps to road gap, it had limited run up but had all the exotic promise of an eastern sunset on a bright summers morn with the one you love more than life itself asleep next to you and all the riches of the discovered world at your beck and call (I'm getting bored now so excuse the heterogeneous use of uber-dandypandy language). Jess ollied the gap, I manned the car opposite like a goal keeper just in case. I considered stepping up and getting my gnarl on, the thought of a "forwardsfliptobackwards" was almost tangible, almost but not quite as it started to rain again. Grim found a dying pigeon and we got some sick (good not disturbing) footage with it, i wont say what you'll have to just wait and see.
Then it rained again and Grim wouldn't shut up about getting food, so we buggered off back east to eat crisps and slowly die. I don't really know what the moral of the story is here, either flaunt it when you've got it or just begin to dislike those who have it when your whatever it was has gone. Either way, the young make the older feel useless and they should be stopped. I may not be as together as I was but I have a small amount of income now and my mate reckons he can get me a gun so those young fuckers better watch it!!!!! Also I like Swansea in the summer, even if it rains.
I'll never be able to do this again I'm too old I need too much cod liver oil, it wasn't that good anyway. Still I haven't given up yet, even if I don't know what a fucking lazer filp is.
celebratoryYes he is. I was talking to friends (I have three now) and they said that Peter Serafinowicz sketch show is actually funny. I've always liked him in other things, 'Look Around You' and 'Spaced' to name two, that's two. So I checked it oot and it's awesome!!!! go here
http://www.youtube.com/user/PeterSerafinowicz
for loads of videos. Check below for my favourite below.
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